Role/Reboot

Eulogizing the Playboy Lifestyle

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:04:00 -0400

There’s something that still fascinates people about the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner. Despite the magazine’s falling circulation numbers (which, with an internet is full of free porn, seems like a forgone conclusion) and rumors about the mansion being sold to pay off Playboy’s debts, coverage of the goings-on of Hefner and his buxom blondes continues to proliferate. Case in point: the recent “Crystal Harris runaway bride, Hef left at the altar” story. When the “news” broke 5 days before the wedding it spread like wildfire through the Twitterverse. Hefner chose Twitter to let people know the wedding was off, and it was immediately passed along by people from all walks of life with different reactions to the news, ranging from “well, duh” to suspicions the bride had been planning this stunt as a promotional tool for her new single.

Why do we still care so much about this old man and his empire of naked ladies? We’d argue that our ongoing fascination with Hef reflects a younger generation’s curiosity about a man who with each passing day seems more like the relic of a past era that couldn’t exist today. We’re watching the Playboy dynasty on life support.

Click through to read the rest of the article.

Click through to read Rinku Sen’s Wal-Mart Gets Free Pass...

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:02:01 -0400

Click through to read Rinku Sen’s Wal-Mart Gets Free Pass for Bias.

"The day I realized that the cultural ideal of femininity was, quite literally, unattainable? The day..."

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:59:42 -0400

“

The day I realized that the cultural ideal of femininity was, quite literally, unattainable? The day I realized that women are supposed to be sexy and chaste, undemanding and seeking commitment, meek delicate flowers and strong backbones of the family? The day I realized that if you’re tall you’re supposed to look shorter, and if you’re short you’re supposed to look taller, and if you’re fat you’re supposed to look thinner, and if you’re thin you’re supposed to look more voluptuous, and that whatever body type you had you were supposed to make it look different? The day I realized that every woman is insecure about her looks… including the ones we’re supposed to idolize? The day I realized that, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I worked, I would always, always, always be a failure as a woman?

That was the day I quit worrying about it.

”

- Wealthy, Handsome, Strong, Packing Endless Hard-Ons: The Impossible Ideals Men Are Expected to Meet

A Muffled Voice: Dispatches From a Sole Parent

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:56:23 -0400

Eighteen months ago I looked at my husband and said, “I have an idea. What if I return to the United States with our children and start over while you stay here in New Zealand and do what you feel you have to do?” He asked, “Are you okay with that?” I replied, “I am. Are you?” He looked at me and said with the most matter of fact tone, “Yeah, I’m okay with that.” I smiled and said, “Okay, then that’s what we’ll do.” In that moment, I knew exactly where my children and I stood in order of importance in my husband’s list of priorities. There was nothing left to say.

Read the rest of the article here.

Click through to read Brian Gresko’s piece, Feeling...

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:26:51 -0400

Click through to read Brian Gresko’s piece, Feeling Fatherhood.

@OnManliness: HyperVocal: How Should You Feel About Pornography?

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:20:32 -0400

@OnManliness: HyperVocal: How Should You Feel About Pornography? :

onmanliness:

POSTED JUNE 10TH 9:45AM BY LARRY HARRIS, JR.

I have a confession: I like porn.

I know, most women just assume that most men like porn. And, by stating that I like porn you’re going to assume I like it a bit more than the next guy. But, that’s not true. I didn’t watch much before…

Check out this fascinating piece about pornography by Role/Reboot contributor Larry Harris Jr.

rectumofglory: Women’s Stories, Movies and the Oscars very...

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:20:18 -0400

rectumofglory:

Women’s Stories, Movies and the Oscars

very interesting.

Jonathan Curiel at SF Weekly: A Movement Defaced: Queer Street Art Fights for Legitimacy

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:11:43 -0400

Jonathan Curiel at SF Weekly: A Movement Defaced: Queer Street Art Fights for Legitimacy:

Street art is dominated by straight men,” says Homo Riot, who came to San Francisco in January to festoon the Haight and Castro districts with stickers of his bearded kissers. “There’s a lot of misogynistic stuff that passes for street art. There are images of women in provocative setups; there’s tits and ass all over. As a gay man, and even as a young boy, I wanted to see images of men. That’s what I was attracted to. But in our culture, we have such taboo surrounding the penis and male sexuality that’s not directed at women.”

That taboo is evident when Homo Riot puts up his stencils in popular L.A. street-art spaces and within hours sees his work violently defaced. He says the attacks happen to a small but significant portion of his work. The men’s faces get Xed out or scratched off — which is hard to do, since he uses a special paste that adheres the work tightly. Still, he says, some straight street artists have given him “support and encouragement,” even lauding his kissing figures, who go by the name Homo Duo.

@OnManliness: Jezebel: Empathetic Men Are Better In Bed

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:08:21 -0400

@OnManliness: Jezebel: Empathetic Men Are Better In Bed:

onmanliness:

Margaret Hartmann — In pop culture men are usually portrayed as being more selfish than women when it comes to amorous activities, but pop culture can be pretty stupid. More reassuringly, a new study shows many are very focused on making sure their partner is enjoying…

Check out this fascinating article about young people role-rebooting in their sex lives. Definitely worth a read!

Click through to read “You Can’t Forget Your...

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 11:49:36 -0400

Click through to read “You Can’t Forget Your Penis” by Larry Harris, Jr.

Shoot the Slut: The 21st Century Backlash Is All About Sex

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 10:44:00 -0400

by Amanda Marcotte

As Susan Faludi demonstrated in “Backlash,” attitudes about gender and sexuality tend to be cyclical. Women’s success in the workplace, especially, has a tendency to create anti-feminist backlashes. As Faludi documented, the 80s backlash in response to the normalization of professional work for women took shape in demands that women embrace more feminine-submissive behaviors and fashions, the idolizing of housewives as perfect women, and attacks on reproductive rights.

Despite the previous anti-feminist administration, the past couple of decades have been good for women: education levels rose to meet and exceed men’s, women’s leadership became more normalized from Condie Rice to Hillary Clinton, and the public debate over sexual harassment in the 90s was won by feminists (though social disapproval of it remains no more than an inch deep). Even the existence of the feminist blogosphere can be counted as a major triumph. The tendency of news magazines to periodically declare feminism “dead” can’t withstand the overwhelming online evidence that feminism is very much alive.

Read the rest of the article.

"Being tattooed, visually Black (I’m half Jamaican and half Puerto Rican), over six feet tall and..."

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 10:46:00 -0400

“Being tattooed, visually Black (I’m half Jamaican and half Puerto Rican), over six feet tall and muscular, holding a little ethnically-ambiguous toddler makes many people double, triple, quadruple take—and also, for some odd reason, loosens tongues, mostly of white folks, and creates an environment of familiarity. And yet they still manage to see me wrong: In my daughter’s twenty-two months of living, I have been labeled ‘uncle,’ ‘babysitter,’ ‘guardian,’ ‘cousin,’ but never father. I can’t tell you just how crushing a blow this is. I LOVE being a father and I think that I am becoming a better one by the day, but to have one of my greatest joys discounted is painful.”

- “A Day At The Park” by Shawn Taylor

Twilight: 107-Year Old Vampire, Vision of Marriage

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 15:06:00 -0400

Twilight: 107-Year Old Vampire, Vision of Marriage

Click through to read “The Family We Live In” by...

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:00:00 -0400

Click through to read “The Family We Live In” by Michael Erard.

"It’s terrifying to think about reality television drama being built around a woman not savvy enough..."

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:00:00 -0400

“It’s terrifying to think about reality television drama being built around a woman not savvy enough to see through lies and a man who only cares about appearances (and himself, obviously). Even if behind the scenes Bentley had everyone fooled (highly unlikely), the way it’s being played out on-screen is a man taking advantage of a woman just looking for love. And with that we have the age-old dynamic of a self-involved, superficial man and a pretty, quick-to-fall in love woman.”

- “Looking for Love in All The Wrong Representations” by Melissa Thompson.

The Unspoken Truths of Mothers on Top

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 11:54:00 -0400

by Liz Gumbinner

Last week, in one of the highlights of my year (and okay, life), I was honored to sit down in a small group of New York-based writers over lattes and lemon pancakes, along with Anna Quindlen. She is only one of my all-time favorite writers, and possibly yours too, if you’re a parent who writes. As Lisa Belkin so aptly put it, Anna’s 1980’s New York Times column, Life in the 30’s, was, in a sense, the very first mom blog.

It was like one of those Chinese Food conversations—the kind where you ask a million questions, get a million answers, and no matter how much information you consume, you’re still hungry for more a moment later. I could have gone on forever if the other women at the table didn’t have their own questions too, damn them.

We talked social media (Anna promised her children she’d never join Facebook). We talked women in the newsroom (there were none). We talked career accomplishments and Philadelphia accents and how great Lisa Belkin is; stay-at-home dads and the joys of public schools, the New York Times paywall (a good thing) and why teenagers aren’t so bad after all. And of course, we talked about her new novel Every Last One, which is, so far, exquisite. And then as we segued into the old life-work balance mythology conversation, I asked her about a topic that’s been on my mind for a while: entrepreneurial women.

Or specifically, female entrepreneurship when you are the primary earner of the family.

Read the rest of the article here.

Have you heard? Kim Kardashian is apparently the First Woman To...

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 11:20:00 -0400

Have you heard? Kim Kardashian is apparently the First Woman To Ever Get Married, or so you might think from all the media coverage of the recently-engaged star…

Click through to read the rest of “What’s In A Name?” by Melissa Thompson.

Marriage Needs A Role Reboot

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 00:09:00 -0400

Marriage Needs A Role Reboot:

by Nicole Rodgers

There is a seismic shift afoot that affects all aspects of what it means to be a man or a woman. Census data reveal part of the story: Women have been outpacing men in bachelor’s degrees since 1996 and, for the first time, more women now have advanced degrees than men, too. Women now make up the (slight) majority of the workforce and, in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in the U.S., young women’s salaries are higher than those of their male peers (although this applies only to single, childless women under 30 in urban areas—the pay gap which favors men remains elsewhere).The generation coming of age today grew up with the belief that women can do everything men can do. More men than ever before are taking on the primary caregiver role and, in almost one quarter of marriages, the woman makes more money than the man. After years of the fight for equality, true collegiality and partnership between genders appears closer than ever before.

Yet our attitudes about whom we are supposed to marry has barely changed.

Click through to read more.

Porn: Divorce's Scapegoat?

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:27:00 -0400

Porn: Divorce's Scapegoat?:

by Melissa Thompson

Does watching porn ruin marriages? Are porn users more likely to have unrealistic expectations of their partners? Do all women hate porn? Do all men love porn? These are all questions Vicki Larson takes on (with only minimal success) in her piece on the Huffington Post.

Larson’s piece is problematic, but it does get the reader thinking about the role of porn in relationships and marriages. Although the tone is questionable and some of her reporting is problematic (using a 2003 statistic about the role of porn in divorces and then talking how this number is rapidly increasing leaves the reader wondering what the numbers are in 2011—updated data is vital to making this a legitimate argument) Larson’s argument about using “porn addiction” as a scapegoat for other issues is a compelling one.

Click through to read more.

"There’s a big contingency of men out there today who respect women and treat them with dignity. I..."

Tue, 31 May 2011 11:36:00 -0400

“

There’s a big contingency of men out there today who respect women and treat them with dignity. I think of the men I’ve interacted with in college settings, graduate school, and past jobs, and although I can point out cases where I felt discriminated against because I was a woman, I can also point to a great community of men who obviously like women, treat them as colleagues and partners, and want to have positive relationships.

Perhaps we can think of it as a positive development that men being respectful isn’t news. It may be an indication of the changing standards we use to judge how men and women should be treated and treat one another. That said, it’s obvious that sexism exists. Wallace’s piece points out that this is still a huge problem. However, I do want to tip my hat to the men out there who do have understanding and respect for women.

”

- “Men Behaving Badly” by Melissa Thompson.

Click through to read the rest of the article.